by Linda Borquist, COSA Principals Academy Coordinator

Now that we are back form the winter holidays, principals may be thinking of some difficult conversations they should have.  It is important to think these conversations through.  Below are some conversation guidelines and frameworks for having these conversations.  Please add your own thoughts, ideas, and resources for difficult conversations.  Good luck...

Setting Up and Handling Difficult Conversations

Background:  Some conversations are difficult because they don’t turn out when we try to have them.  Others seem so difficult that we avoid having the conversations.  We think about having them, but we don’t.  The following conversations tend to be difficult for some people:

• Asking for what you want
• Declining someone’s request
• Disagreeing with someone else’s view
• Letting people know that you have a problem and need support
• Complaining about something that doesn’t work
• Sharing a complaint or bad news

We have lots of reasons why we don’t have the conversations.  First, we don’t want to be uncomfortable and we see the potential for someone being upset and things getting worse.  We have other justifications like, “it’s not that big of a deal.”  These explanations allow us to get away with not having the conversation. 

Second, we are not aware of the downstream costs that we incur by not voicing our concerns.  If we were in touch with the price we ultimately pay, we’d have the conversations.  Sometimes the price is that things get worse.  An even bigger price we pay is losing out on something special that might happen if we immediately handled these issues.  Ever say to yourself, “Gee, why did I wait so long?”  Sometimes, it’s because doing whatever it was that we had been putting off didn’t turn our to be a big deal.  Sometimes it’s because we get to access to something much more exciting having done whatever it was we were avoiding.  That’s the way it is with difficult conversations.  It’s always different on the other side.  

It is possible to design the conversation so that it works for everyone.  
We avoid difficult conversations because we simply don’t know how to make them work.  Sit down and think through the conversation and how you want it to go.  

Don’t have the conversation unless:
>You are committed to the person
>You are willing to stay with the conversation until it turns out for the other person
>You are clear that you are creating or building something by raising the issue

Think about, but don’t be stopped by:
>Timing, when would this conversation work best and in what setting?
>Is this a group issue or an individual issue?
>Am I in the right frame of mind to have this conversation?
>Am I willing to do whatever it takes, even if they aren’t?

Get in touch with:  How would I like to be approached if someone has something to say to me that I am likely to take very personally and get defensive about?

When you start or set up the conversation:

1. Let them know why you want to have the conversation. What is important to you that is being interrupted or put in jeopardy?  Be clear.
2. Tell them that something is not working for you and ask to share it with them.
3. Take care of the other person.  Let them know that you value them and the relationship.  If you are concerned about causing damage to the relationship by raising this issue, tell them.  Share your thinking with them.
4. If you have other concerns, share those also. but be reasonable in the amount shared at any one time.  Don’t dump to the point of them feeling buried with no way out.  Voicing these concerns will both free you up and will let the other person know your care and want this to work.  It will also lessen the chances of your fears actually materializing.
5. Acknowledge any concerns that you think they may have.
6. Let them know that this is a problem for you and may not be for them.  Also, share that this is your perception of the problem.  It may not be the whole truth, as they see it.
7. Give them permission not to respond immediately or even during this conversation.  You may need to schedule a follow-up conversation.

When you talk about the issue:

1. Tell them what the problem is.  Use facts.  Be specific.
2. If you have a request, make it.  If you don’t know what to do, let them know.
3. Remind them that you want to stay with this until it works for both of you.
4. Ask them to share their view of it.
5. Listen intently and let them know that you have fully heard what they said.
6. Ask them what they see to do about it.
7. Before you end the conversation, decide what the next steps are.  When will you talk about it again?  How will you continue to work on this?  How will you know when it is no longer an issue for either of you?
8. Let them know you appreciate being able to talk to them.

Now, script out the key components of your conversation.

Acknowledgement:  The above was adapted from Conversation Skills:  Setting up and handling difficult conversations.

by Suzanne Dalton

The COSA Mentor Certification Training program is done in collaboration with the Leadership Innovations Team and provides participants with leadership coaching skills to accelerate performance and maximize the effectiveness of school leaders. By providing training in a practical, applicable, step-by-step process, the COSA Mentor Certification Training empowers participants with skills and strategies that can be used immediately in coaching conversations to promote growth and improve performance.

The four-day program supports mentors by building skills and knowledge around Oregon's six Administrative Standards - Visionary Leadership, Instructional Leadership, Effective Management, Inclusive Practice, Ethical Leadership and Socio-political Context.

During the training, COSA mentors learn to use data to identify goals that will have the greatest positive impact on leadership development. They will learn how to support principals in the process of designing and following through with specific action plans aligned to the standards, providing clear purpose and direction with a scaffolded pathway to successful leadership behaviors.

by Craig Hawkins, Communications Director

State revenue is expected to decline by $165.9 million in the 2007-09 (current) biennium and $718.4 million in the 2009-11 biennium, compared to the September forecast.  This information comes from the December 2008 Economic and Revenue Forecast presented to the House and Senate Revenue Committees by the Office of Economic Analysis this morning.  The 2007-09 decline results in an ending fund balance for the state of negative $142.1 million.  Because Oregon is required to have a balanced budget, 2008-09 reductions in revenue for schools and other sectors of state government are already in the works.

One place that little revenue reduction is planned is in the School Improvement Fund.  COSA, along with education partners OEA, OSBA and ODE, have been working with the governor’s office since last week’s announcement of the governor’s request that ODE delay/withhold distribution of the School Improvement Fund.  As you can see in the this letter, the governor is now asking that $125 million of the $130 million SIF be released on November 24.  However, the letter also requests that ODE “reduce the monthly payments to school districts in the months of January through May 2009.”  This is part of the governor’s use of his “allotment authority” to do across-the-board reductions to balance the state budget.  K-12’s share of those across-the-board-cuts is about $75 million, which represents a revenue reduction of about $115 per student this year.  We will continue to work with our education partners and the governor’s office, and we will update you as developments occur and additional information becomes available.

Other key facts from the December revenue forecast:

• Since the close of the 2007 Legislative session, overall estimated state revenue is down $322 million for the 2007-09 biennium.
• In September, the forecast called for an ending balance of $23.8 million in the current biennium.  The $165.9 million decline in projected 2007-09 revenue results in the $142.1 million shortfall.
• The 2009-11 forecast is down $718.4 million compared to September, with total decline since the close of the 2007 session of about $1.3 billion.
• The Rainy Day Fund for this biennium now stands at $340.5 million, and the Education Stability Fund now stands at $393.4 million.

Please share any questions or comments in the form at the bottom of this blog.

by Craig Hawkins, Communications Director

8:49 p.m.

I'll be writing periodically over the next two days from the OASSA/OESPA Principals Conference at Sunriver.  If you have questions or comments, submit them via the comment form below and we'll add them to this blog.

We have about 300 people here at Sunriver today -- about twice as many as last year.  It's full and vibrant here in the Great Hall.

As I write, keynote speakers Bob Eaker and Janel Keating are speaking on the topic, "Professional Learning Communities: What Would It Look Like If We Really Meant It?"  Eaker has co-authored PLC books with Richard and Rebecca DuFour.  He is a professor in the Department of Educational Leadership at Middle Tennesee State University.  Keating is deputy superintendent in the White River, Wash., School District, and a veteran of successful PLC implementation.

10:15 a.m.

Conference attendees are on a break, half-way through the opening Eaker-Keating keynote.  The group seems energized by what they are learning.  Comments like, "This helps us to put common sense into practice," and "This reinforces that we're on the right track," mix with comments like "This is really good," and "I'm reading one of Dr. Eaker's books right now, so this is perfect."

In addition to the great keynote, attendees are enthused about the weather -- especially compared to last year's conference, when we had about four inches of rain.  So far, it's been sunny and seasonably warm.

12:15 p.m.

Elementary principals are flowing in to the Homestead Hall, where the OESPA luncheon is being held today. I'm hearing a lot of positives about the morning's keynote speakers, with comments like "very pragmatic" and "information we can really use."

One of the great things about this conference is the opportunity for elementary and secondary principals to meet together, and separately, according to their interests and/or the topic.  Hogan Cedars Elementary Principal Anita Harris is the luncheon speaker for OESPA.  She is Oregon's reigning National Distinguished Principal. 

Forest Grove High School Principal John O'Neill is the luncheon speaker for OASSA.  He is the Oregon High School Principal of the Year.

  2:07 p.m.

The first round of breakout sessions is underway.  Sessions include:

• "360-degree Feedback for Extraordinary Leaders" with Heather Knight of the Powerful Teachers and Learning Group
• "What does RTI/PBS Look Like in Tigard-Tualatin K-5 Elementary Schools?" with Dan Goldman, Sally Helton and Rachell Katz
• "Update on Oregon Diploma Implementation" with Michelle Hooper and Theresa Levy of ODE
• "Keep the Main Thing, the Main Thing, through Priority Leadership" with Rob Hess of Springfield
• "Providing Powerful Instructional Leadership through Effective School and Classroom Walk-thorugh Visits (K-5)" with Stan Paine of the University of Oregon
• "Math Standards and Assessment 6-12" with Shannon McCaw and Sarah Schuhl of SMc Curriculum
• "A Roadmap to Vista, Historical Sites and Hotspots on Your Journey to Becoming a PLC" with Janel Keating

I poked my head into several of the sessions.  They appear to be well attended, with participants really engaged in the discussions.

 3:31 p.m.

Between breakout sessions, I visited again with a number of attendees.  They continue to rave about the Eaker-Keating breakout this morning, and say they are looking forward to seeing Todd Whitaker tomorrow.  They also had lots of positive things to say about the first round of breakout sessions, agreeing that learning from their peers is one of the most powerful aspects of COSA conferences.

The second round of breakout sessions is underway.  Sessions include:

• "Mentoring Training" with Heather Knight of the Powerful Teachers and Learning Group
• "RTI/PBS K-5: Student Behavior" with Dan Goldman, Sally Helton, Rachell Katz and Carla Randall of Tigard Tualatin
• "Enhancing Student Success and Achievement at the High Schoo Level" with Forest Grove Principal John O'Neill
• "Motivating K-12 Students and Increasing STEM Comprehension through Robotics" with Deb Mumm-Hill of First Pacific NW and Roger Collier of Oregon City School District
• "Providing Powerful Instructional Leadership through Effective School and Classroom Walk-through Visits (6-12)" with Stan Paine of the University of Oregon
• "Math Standards and Assessment K-8" with Shannon McCaw and Sarah Schuhl of SMc Curriculum
• "Bumps Along the Way:  The Journey to Becoming a Professional Learning Community" with Janel Keating

Lots of good stuff.

TUESDAY, October 21

7:51 a.m.

It's 22 degrees this morning and sunny, with frost covering just about everything outside.  It's a perfect morning to be inside the spectacular Great Hall here at Sunriver, and everyone says they are looking forward to Todd Whitaker's keynote address this morning.

Whitaker is a Professor of Educational Leadership at Indiana State University, and one of the hottest education leadership speakers around.  He has written several books, including "What Great Principals Do Differently."  In addition to his keynote here at the Principals Conference, Whitaker will work with COSA in providing a "Best Practices" workshop in Portland in May, and also speak at the 35th annual COSA Seaside Conference in June.

8:19 a.m.

Coos Bay administrator Bruce Bryant may be the one conference attendee who is most looking forward to Whitaker's remarks this morning.  COSA Professional Development Director Colin Cameron and I were in Coos Bay earlier this month visiting with administrators, and Bruce called himself a "Todd Whitaker groupie."

"I saw Todd last year at the NASSP Convention in San Antonio and, as a first year administrator, he was very inspirational to me," Bryant says.  "His sharing of practices and traits has inspired me to make a difference in our school and our district."

Bruce got the chance to meet Todd this morning (photo).

9:50 a.m.

Whitaker has the full-to-overflowing Great Hall in the palm of his hand as he shares what great teachers and great principals do differently.  Among his comments: "Shift the 'monkey' by treating difficult people as though the were good" ... "It's people not programs -- there are only two ways to improve schools: 1) Hire better teachers and, 2) Improve the ones you've got" ... "Students will become who we are, not who we want them to be."

11:50 a.m.

Whitaker kept the Great Hall audience in the palm of his hand for three hours with lots of great, practical advice about what great principals do, including a cool, new dance step -- the "Sidle Up" -- plus such goodies as, "Never argue, never yell, never use sarcasm" ... "10 Days Out of 10" ... "I'm just telling you this because I'd want you to know."

Whitaker will be back in May and June ... I'd strongly recommend making plans to experience his workshops and addresses.  Like Bruce Bryant, this morning session turned me into a Todd Whitaker groupie.

12:01 p.m.

We have a great afternoon ahead.  COSA Executive Director Kent Hunsaker is the lunchtime speaker.  His topic?  School funding and the upcoming legislative session.  Nobody understands that topic better than Kent.

After lunch, there is another round of top-quality breakouts, including:

• "Using Student Leaders to Build a Positve School Culture" with Redmond High School Principal Jon Bullock
• "Books! Books! Books!" with Grandhaven Elementary Principal Sara Johnson
• "Oregon Diploma Implementation" with Michelle Hooper and Theresa Levy of ODE
• "Schools to Watch" with Meadow Park Middle School Principal Jill O'Neill
• "Math Standards and More" with Cathy Brown and Paul Hibbard of ODE

As well, COSA's New Principals Academy participants will meet this afternoon in a special session with Todd Whitaker.